Uninhibited joy and thereafter
The day was ending. Our forest
walk was over and it was now on the way back to the small three roomed brick
building across the roaring river Koel. All of us were totally relaxed. Only
vaguely aware of our surroundings we never noticed the way we were going. We
knew the green trees were our friends, the small deer whose hoof sign we saw an
hour back now must be resting in some shelter. The birds returned home with
lots of chirpings a while ago. A typical evening fell in the jungle.
Our guide walked in front—silent
vigilant responsible leader. We followed him without any thought or worries in
our minds. A wonderful forest walk had just ended. We were immersed in the
moving experience of visiting, touching and smelling the heart of the forest
just a while back. We still carried those wonderful moments of walking along
the narrow animal trail head down in a single file with a faint tingling of
apprehension of danger and then the downpour, standing together, sheets of rain
isolating the small group of humans from the jungle and at the same time
connecting them through the sound of rains falling on the leaves and then on to
the ground. Soaking wet to the skin was an added pleasure. A feeling of well-being
permeated us. Sharing the feeling brought the friends closer. As if we existed
in a bubble. The bubble chattered, laughed and walked with relaxed quick
aimless steps towards the assurance of warm cosy lighted rooms in the midst of
darkness all around.
We felt as if we were the only
living beings in the world. The whole jungle the sky the river all belonged to
us. It was a wonderful feeling.
We didn't notice when the guide
had increased his pace. We followed him without any thought. Time had no
meaning for us. Darkness fell some time back. The powerful torch held forward
by the guide created a spreading beam of light that quickly merged with
darkness in front and on two sides. He moved silently, with stolid determined
steps forward.
Our poet friend wanted to recite a
special piece written by him. After a light bantering he was permitted to
recite. Somehow my mind was not with the group. I was only vaguely aware of the
poetry that my friend recited with total abandon, but didn't follow the words
at all. Only his joy in letting the jungle hear his poem I remember. He wore a
thin strapped slipper on his feet that we use only inside our homes. He was the
poet, the thinker, the confirmed philosopher in our group.
Another friend was in night dress
and a pair of light slippers on his feet. Just before going to bed he came with
us into the jungle for a few minutes of evening walk. The third friend was our
story teller. Even today we enjoy his story telling. He has a great way of
making even a simple incident spring to life. All through the past hour he was
bantering, joking, and telling short anecdotes, but slowly his fervour was a little
on the wane.
Tapas and I joined college from
the same locality in our city and moved together more often during our college
days. He is not a very talkative person. He was enjoying quietly. The last
friend was also from Physics and was a friend of one of us. We knew him well. He
had a rather straightforward simple personality and merged easily with our
group of five. The poet found a ready listener in this friend of ours. All of
us had just finished graduation in Physics.
Somehow by some chance this group had
joined together and by the quirk of fate were walking in this small tiny group
through the vast dark jungle now, totally oblivious of what the jungle held
inside it.
Though we six moved together, two
of the friends walked little head. I walked with Tapas and two others walked a
few steps behind—close together but still separate. We were participating in
each other's streams of purposeless talks and at the same time remained
separate.
I walked with a slightly
disconnected mind. I watched the clumps of darkness around and on the path
ahead; tried to hear chance animal calls. It would have been so nice to hear a
wild animal call while walking in the night forest. We don’t have such jungles potentially
full of animals in our city.
Like all things, sameness change,
new situation arises. I noticed first that we were walking too long. My internal
clock alerted me. I had an idea of the time we had taken to reach the fork from
the bridge on Koel from where we took the animal trail further inside the
forest. I felt more or less sure that now on our return path we were walking
much too long after coming out of the fork from inside the forest onto the wide
path that led towards the bridge.
I called out to the guard and
stopped him. All of us stopped. I told him my concern and tried to explain with
not much of a concrete proof that we were walking too long after coming out on
the wide stretch leading to the bridge. “By now we should surely have reached
the bridge”, I told him. The guard patiently listened to me and with just a
shake of his head turned round. He was the leader. He was the man in the know. How
could we, the city-bred lads know anything that he didn’t know! On top of it we
were much younger than him. We might be more educated than him, but how can we
know about the forests that was his home ground!
But this brief halt changed the
mood of the group. Our pace increased and voice lowered; words spoken fewer. We
were apprehensive—not really afraid, but somehow the group felt something was
wrong. A faint whiff of danger blew in.
I was by then very restless. I was
sure that a great mistake had been committed, but I didn't know how it happened
and still more important, I had no proof. Suddenly the guard veered a little
from his straight walk avoiding something on his path. We also saw it soon. A
large pile of elephant dung still smoking lay on our path. That was the time
fear swooped down on us. But we had no option but to follow the hapless guard
onwards ahead. I was sure the guard also understood his mistake but couldn't
believe it.
Then suddenly, I got the proof. The
realization came to me all of a sudden. While coming from the bridge into the
jungle along this path, I remembered that the ground rose in a mild slope gradually
upwards. And now after a few hours of walking, the ground was still rising
upwards. Without any hesitation I ordered the guard to stop and explained the
ground rise.
To this day I remember his face in
the light and shadow of his torch when he heard me through. He was a dark
skinned man. When I finished, all colour drained, his face was literally ashen
white. He understood, I understood and all of us understood. On the way back
when we came out of the forest onto the wide path leading to the bridge and
then onto our temporary home, our friend the guard had taken a left turn
instead of a right and led us for more than an hour in exactly the opposite
direction deeper into the night forest away from the bridge.
We huddled together in the middle
of the stretch and the guard ran from tree to tree with his torch, examining
the white markings that perhaps he himself had made on the tree trunks as a
part of his work. Within a few minutes he finally convinced himself. He could
recognise the trees.
He walked towards us; to his
credit he admitted his mistake to us, tried to comfort us and told us not to
run or talk loudly. We were to follow him silently, fast but not running. In
this dark wet forest running may bring danger.
We turned back and then started
our very long half run towards safety. We were at least one and half hours deep
into the forest away from the bridge. It was nearly eight in the night. And
only two days ago two men were trampled by the elephants near the village
across the bridge, outside not even inside this jungle where the elephants
live.
The after lunch story now took
shape. Large elephants stood in front on two sides and also behind waiting for
us. On any moment some of them may charge and trample us. Didn’t we know so
many stories of how deadly elephants are!
Every large bush in front formed a
suspicious shadow till we came abreast and past it. Our young hearts continued
beating. Temporary insanity gripped a few of the group. The poet suddenly left
all caution to the winds and while on the half run on his by now torn slippers
started reciting poem after poem with total abandon. Another one started
pestering a third friend. Sanity left us. Terror reigned supreme. It spread far
and wide, deep and near. It seeped in and enveloped our soul.
The dim torchlight in front swayed
on and on forward. Hoping against hope we looked ahead with strained eyes for
the sign of the bridge. Interminable minute after endless minute ticked away
inside our heads. Won’t this torture ever end!
If you ever have experienced sheer
terror, you would know that after some time, mind and body adjusts somewhat. Wild
fluttering of the heart turns into numbness. We trudged on and on. I am more or
less sure we didn’t have much faith in reaching safety that night. As in life
we move on by habit, mind unthinking our legs moved us forward. Eyes peered from
side to side and occasionally behind. Who knows, the elephant at our back might
just have turned its attention on us.
At last, after the longest stretch
of hopeless time for each of us, the bridge lay ahead. On a near run we stepped
on the bridge, the jungle lay behind. Still we looked back frequently. The
elephant can also cross the bridge like us!
Bridge ended, road started. Only a
little distance away stood our three roomed safety. The gate opened hurriedly,
the last few yards to the room and at last into the room. Oh we are saved,
still alive.
None was interested in food. But thirst
had to be quenched. The difficult question—who would go out to fetch water from
the well in the compound. We looked at each other.
Tapas and I went out. Tapas drew
the water from the well while I held the kerosene lantern high to see if any
elephant was trying to pick me up in its trunks standing in the shadows just
outside the fence.
The small building had three
rooms. All of us slept in one room. The fear was so deep. We even looked at the
small air opening high up the wall with apprehensive eyes expecting something
creeping through it.
Next morning we woke up late. It was
a slow morning. At noon we boarded the lone bus honking along an empty road
back towards civilization and home.
Forty years have passed. Till today
the six of us avoid any mention of that night.